Haven't woken up in the morning for quite some time, so haven't been hearing "Good Morning!" from anyone in a long time too. What's been occupying my late nights? FFForever,DOTA,supper,DVDs and stuff.(It's ok if you don't know the 1st two terms. You might actually be leading a more fruitful life than mine!!)
The recent showers have been irritating at times. Like when we wanted to take cab home from Paragon just now, the queue was sooooooo long. Tried calling cabs but all the cab companies' phone lines were engaged. No kidding.
And people have been getting sick. Runny noses, sore throats and the like. As I always say, go boil some damn coke, add lemon slices and drink it. Good for your sore throat! Don't be lazy. You can always ask your maid or Mummy Dearest to do it for you. Hahahaha!!
On the other hand, the rain is a great excuse to stay in bed just that bit longer. "Wah! Still raining!! Don't feel like going out or doing anything anymore. Ok. Back to ZZzzzzZZZzzzz." That runs through my mind more often than I'd like ever since the rainy days started.
Been thinking a bit about my dreams and aspirations. I've always wanted to be a chef or a writer or a songwriter. But it isn't easy. I'm 22 already. 'Cause I don't just want to be any other chef/writer/songwriter. I want to be the best.
I want to cook the loveliest, tastiest food that you just can't resist and warms your soul as well as your tummy. I want to write stories that fascinate, touch your heart and make you think twice about what you think you know. I want to write songs that will accompany you through your brightest moments, your darkest days and make you want to sing all the same.
You people will probably go like, "But what the fark have you been doing? Slacking away? Like that how to accomplish your dreams?" Yes, I've been slacking away. But I've been putting time into cooking. Putting time into trying to get concepts of a story together. Putting time into my guitar and learning the damn piano.
Learning the piano at 22 is tough. And you probably know how damn clumsy I am with my way-below-average hand-eye coordination. Or my brain-hand coordination. Or just any coordination. I feel like a retard facing the keyboard. It's like a man wearing a black and white suit laughing at me everytime I fail whom I must learn to respect and befriend. I'm ashamed when I see my 11-year-old cousin playing the piano with such grace that lingers on the other side of the glass, right beyond my touch.
I can't even think straight nowadays. Been blurting out my 1st reactions and thoughts to situations immediately without thinking twice. Probably the phenomenon you guys term as "short-circuit". I don't really know what's going on upstairs either.
And I'm thinking. What if I don't make it? Am I just throwing my youth away? Talked to my parents about my aspirations. My dad gives me a 1% chance of making it. And that's if I choose one of my dreams and put my everything into it. I know he's being kind. 1%? I don't think so.
But I'm too stubborn to give up. I want to be silly and unrealistic while I still can. I don't want to spend my future thinking about what-ifs. I've had too many what-ifs already in my life.
What if I had never told the lies I did? What if I had chosen Arts over Science in JC despite my parents' objection? What if I went overseas instead of slogging out here when my dad offered me the chance? What if I had told her I love her?
I just want to give myself one more shot. Not to prove anything to my parents, my friends or any of you. I just want to prove to myself that I can achieve something if I work hard at it. That I'm not restricted in life by anything. A less-than-pleasant appearance. An inapptitude for sports.
What does all this matter? Nothing. I was given so much more than so many others and I thank my parents for it. I was struggling for my life when I was a baby but I survived. That's why I still believe I can accomplish my dreams. Even if I don't, I know that I really tried and didn't just talk about it.
I do at least hope then that I have touched someone, anyone. Changed their life in a better way. Made them laugh and forget their troubles for a while. Showed some kindness in this bitter world. If I have done any of this, I know I have accomplished something special too. Because I will always be able to hear the whispers of "Thank You!" even if they're unspoken. When I'm gone, these unspoken whispers might just be enough to bring me somewhere special.
A place where people enjoy my stories and sing my songs.
A place where people savour the food I cook.
A place where friends and family gather and celebrate the moment we met and every moment after.
In response to 周杰伦's 珊瑚海 : 我相信海鸟跟鱼相爱决对不是一场意外!!!!
