Cheating

Shared a cab with an air stewardess. SIA no less. Was taking cab down to send JY off when I noticed her behind me in all her SIA glory with luggage in tow. So being the nice guy that I am(all tags to the contrary will be deleted 'cause this is my blog and I own you), I offered to share the cab with her.

For your info, I did not seek her number or anything. Not only 'cause I was too shy, but the SIA stewardess had so much make-up on that I couldn't really tell if she was pretty. And the Singlish she used during her hp conversation sort of spoiled the image. And she'd probably press some Eject Pervert button and I'd be flying out of the cab.

Well, I just wanted to note it down. It's less of the "Son, Your Dad once shared a cab with an SIA stewardess." "WOW!!" "NO .™* It's not your Mum." variety. More of the "Yeah, I shared a cab with an SIA stewardess before..." "Quit telling that damn story and go get some more beer!! John just finished the last jug." type.

Anyway, I realised recently that I don't have any real aim in life. Driving Ferraris and shagging Fiona Xies surely don't count. And that's when I started sinking into this pseudo-depression thingy.I tried to get help by asking people for their Cheat Code for Life. I got many answers but I'll only type a couple of them here.

"DOTA."

"SAGGF aka Get a girlfriend."

"Beer. Lots of it."

"There isn't any so suck it."

The conclusion I got was that everybody has their own cheat code for life and you can't just blindly borrow from them. It's like you can't use different cheat codes for different games. Up,Down,Left,Right and holding Select and Start doesn't do shit on Winning Eleven 10.(Tried and tested by Yours Truly.)

So I decided to formulate my cheat code for life. I seperated it into sections and groups. The easy peasy tasks and the need-to-kena-M-repeatedly-to-sustain-commitment missions. The daily routines and the long term targets.

Somehow, looking at my cheat code, I feel slightly overwhelmed by the things I have to do to accomplish the things that I want to do. The overall targets were set as per Seah's Cheat Code for Life™ such as stay healthy and be happy.

It looks simple but dammit, it ain't easy trying to be happy all the time especially when I feel like I could eat a Tiny(Level 3 Growth no less) and the McDelivery guy says "Delivery time will be in 1 hour" which by Einstein's theory of relativity means that the Big Breakfast with Iced Milo could be just in time for my grandson's wedding.

Anyway, at least I'm glad I had this cheat code done. One of the top priorities listed is to refer to the cheat code when I wake up everyday. But that's kind of redundant. If I don't read the cheat code, I won't see the listed priority. And if I do see it, it means I'm already reading the bloody thing.

It's like those retardinhoes asking "May I ask you a Question?" without realising the idioticness of their damn question.

"You already have and NO .™* I'm not going to answer another question of yours until you learn to speak properly. Queen's English preferably."

Well, the Sun's coming up which signifies sleeping time for Kerk, the Vampire who simply sucks at everything. Do you have a Cheat Code for Life?

* : NO .™ is the mother of one-worded replies, the definite rejection and the last word in Refusalogy. It has gained such popularity that it has replaced head-shaking as the universal sign of Negativism. Its origins have been attributed to one Goh Jun Yi who has recently left his native country in pursue of greater knowledge.

Let's take a moment to wish him all the best and we highly anticipate more classic contribututions from him with his return.