Friday, December 23, 2005

A Dreamer's Confession / A Dream of a Dream

Some of you might know that I have many weird dreams. Fewer of you will know that I keep a dream diary. That's right. A dream diary. I write down dreams as I remember in as much detail as I can 'cause I find that they somehow reflect an inner me. Or maybe they're so weird and funny I might just publish a book or something. Has anyone published a dream diary book yet?

Isn't it funny sometimes when you recall a dream, you can't see the details? Like the exact color,type or style of their clothes even when you are sure they were wearing something. (Though I know some dreams are of the more au natural nature)

Sometimes in my dreams, I can make things happen. Doesn't that happen for you too? Like when I come to a cupboard door, my first thought is, "Please don't let there be cockroaches behind it." Voila! Cue cockroaches!

Or when I know it's a dream 'cause some things just seem unrealistic but I just play along to see what happens. It's not easy to wake yourself up from nightmares though. I've tried jumping off buildings and even stabbing myself in my dreams to try to wake up from nightmares. But somehow it just doesn't work.

Nightmares really suck. Like Duh! But I'm quite surprised at the amount of pain that can be transmitted by a dream. I had one where I was shot and it really felt that way. Even when I woke up I could feel the pain. Though the sceptics among you might say that I was experiencing pain in real life and that's why I dreamt of gettting shot to explain the pain I was feeling.

That brings me to an important point. How do you know that you're not dreaming right now as you're reading this? Are dreams a manifest of life or life a manifest of dreams? How did I come to this weird ass thinking? I once dreamt a very cliche dream. I dreamt that I woke up from a dream. Being a smart alec, I pinched myself to make sure I was awake. It hurt(or so I felt) and thus I was assured. But then, I really woke up later. And thus I knew that it was all a dream.

Another really freaky dream. Me and my sis were watching tv and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I remember opening my eyes after having closed them for what felt like a minute and seeing myself in the same place at the same time with my sis beside me watching tv. I rubbed my eyes, walked to my room to charge my phone and walked back down to watch tv and fell asleep.

When I next woke up, I went to my room to check my phone and realised that the battery was flat and it wasn't attached to the charger. I asked my sis and she said that she only saw me wake up once and it was now. It really freaked me out. Because it was all so realistic and in tune with real life, I had no idea I was dreaming at all. In fact, I've often questioned myself whether it was a dream or had my 'soul' tried to charge my phone.

Some say Death is but an eternal slumber. If so, why are we so afraid to die? I mean, we have had plenty of practice haven't we? Everytime we sleep a dreamless slumber, it's as good as death. I used to be afraid of sleeping 'cause I was scared that I would never wake up. That explains those dark rings 'round my eyes which have stuck around since those days.

Nowadays, I enjoy my dreams quite a lot. I haven't had nightmares for quite some time, only interesting dreams spending time with friends whom I haven't kept in touch with. People like Amy asking for a present from Santa Kerk who has only an empty sack left. Santa Kerk gives her the sack and suddenly Amy is no longer plain old Amy but Santa Amy.

The coincidental thing was that 2 days later,I saw Amy in town. Twice. On her birthday. When she first walked past me in the afternoon at Wisma, I was wondering who does this stranger strangely resemble. When she walked past me at Shaw in the evening, I once again felt a strange sense of familiarity. It wasn't until I recalled my dream that I realised she was Amy.

Funny thing Life is. Just like a dream. And maybe Death is a dream too. Of Life. Both of which we never truly awake from.

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